Hoping.

So, I was just laying here feeling sorry for myself, and decided I needed to get up and stop wallowing in self-pity.  It's so interesting how someone can have such a great effect on your mood and emotions without even saying anything at all.  Sometimes what people DON'T say can be just as powerful and hurtful as what they do say. 


 I can't really understand what is going on here, but I know that it is not okay with me.  If someone can't express their feelings to me, and be straight up with me about what is going on, then I can't wait around forever.  Even if the answer is not specifically what I was looking for, an answer of some sort is better than nothing. Waiting and wondering can  ruin a person, because you begin to draw conclusions and assume what is going on.  Usually you can figure out the situation but it is still not definite, so it is just unhealthy.  


Having inside information that other people don't know you have can also make things more confusing because, you form your opinions and feel a certain way based on all the info you have whether you are supposed to have it or not.  Anyway, I guess if things really are the way they seem, I will slowly beginning the disappear method that I have used oh so many times before.  I mean what is the point of me sticking around and suffering, might as well start removing myself from the situation and try to get over it.  Apparently things aren't always what they seem, and when you can't get a true answer, you just have to decide for yourself and hope for the best. 



"Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me"
-Taking Back Sunday